- posted by Scott @ 1:45 AM

 
Taking care of business

As you may or may not notice, I deleted the last couple of entries. I really appreciate the comments that someone left for me. I want to let you know that things are much better; I've grown a lot in the past month or so (yes, it's been nearly that long since I wrote in here). The only thing I would say to you I'd like to know your name next time. I will never be angry with someone's comments (unless of course, the comments are insults rather than constructive criticism). Even if I don't know you directly, a name helps me put a moniker on the comments...makes them a bit more real (ya know what I mean?).

Anyway, I have deleted the last couple of entries because they aren't really critical to the purpose of this journal. Honestly, this entry will probably be deleted later on, but this is more of an administrative entry.

School is really really busy. I don't really have time now to even be writing this entry, but I feel it's important to try and get back into the habit. Things with my girl are great - probably better than when we WERE engaged...at least I think so. At least we're settling into what we want "us" to be.

As for me, I've got baggage, and I've mentioned this in previous entries (search the Archives if you want, it's all there). And I'm pursuing methods of getting rid of the baggage in a constructive way, rather than just ignoring it. I am definitely coming into my own now...a lot has happened since last month. And I'm glad.

As for right now, I've got to get back to my loads of schoolwork and other things, so for those of you who are struggling with your strength, remember this:

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.
Psalm 73:26
- posted by Scott @ 1:29 PM

 
The Boom Factor

In advertising, the "Boom" factor is the measure of how much reaction and resonance your message gets from your target audience and markets. And just as Advertising uses words, so do Sermons. Today in Church, my chaplain's sermon was phenomenal...just absolutely perfect for what I'm going through right now. It's a rare occasion that sermons and really anybody saying certain things really hits the spot, but today was one of those occasions.

One of the readings was from Exodus when Moses sees the Burning Bush and goes to investigate. He ends finding God, who charges him with the not-so-light task of freeing the Israelites from the bondage of Egypt. It was a turning point in Moses' life; a decision that many people face several times in their life. It was at this point that Moses turned aside to find out what that event meant. It ended up making him the hero of an entire race of people...wow.

My chaplain preached on the "Burning Bushes" in our lives. The changes we go through, the decisions we make in order to learn and grow into who we should be. We may never know that they are significant events, but they are indeed. It was powerful because I'm at a turning point in my life right now.

I'm trying to decide about careers; I think I'm set on Copywriting in Advertising, but I'm not really sure. Here's the thing, I don't see myself being happy in who I end up being...is that weird? I'm just not sure whether I'm meant to do any one thing for a long time, or whether I'm supposed to bounce. I think this time is my "Burning Bush," because it is a time where I make decisions about how my life is going to be led.

With so many uncertainties - especially in those departments I thought were certain - I'm so unnerved at the fact that so many things are unstable. The only things I know for sure are that I'm here at school for at least (and hopefully at most) one more year, and that I will finish with a degree from the SMAD department. That's about it. Wow...about 6 months everything was so clear-cut and ready to go...such a change.

And such is life...
- posted by Scott @ 12:03 AM

 
Week in Review

So this past week was Spring Break. It's been rather eventful yet uneventful at the same time. I got this sweet new Mac laptop, and I started working freelance for an Ad agency here in town. Things with the fiancee are...we're doing all right. I finished the Canterbury Songbook...it's nothing special, just done. So hopefully that will turn out okay. Also, I've started a new website and wrote my paper for New Testament (on Paul's treatment of women...truly fascinating stuff).

I'm still working on how to rate this week. God-wise, I have no clue where I am. I'm in one of those spiritual valleys right now, and I'm really yearning for some mountain climbing. Maybe the next few weeks (after all of my projects get done) will bring some of that climbing.

Last year's Spring Break, I co-led an Alternative Spring Break trip to Columbia, South Carolina to a community called St. Lawrence Place, which is transitional housing for the formerly homeless. It was so rewarding to work with the kids and renovate apartments, because I knew I was doing something for the common good. What about this break? Well, initially I was supposed to go to New York City to introduce my fiancee to the family, but my mom had surgery about a month ago, and her recovery time cut into that plan. So I couldn't go on ASB this year because I couldn't sign up in time. So instead of a week of rewarding experiences surrounded by God's children, I was here.

Like I said, I still don't know how to rate this week. I can't put it in the top 20, but not that bottom 20 either...I don't know...it's been okay - not great.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.
- posted by Scott @ 12:18 AM

 
Uncertainty

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1, NIV

I don't really like the NIV translation of the Bible, yet this verse is really beautiful in that translation.

This verse has a rather poignant meaning in my life right now. My world has kind of been turned upside down, and I'm really struggling to handle the changes. I don't pretend to have all the answers, and I don't need to have all of the answers. To have all of them would mean you'd be God, and that's definitely never going to happen. But in spite of the fact that I don't have all of the answers, I thought I had one or two of them. Not a lot by any means, but something solid to put your finger on when you're in need of foundation.

I know what you're saying; you're saying "God is your foundation." And you're right, He is...at least in some sense. I find it increasingly difficult to feel completely comfortable with God as my foundation when all of these things that I thought He gave me as support are not as sturdy as once thought. I wish that I could rely on my faith alone, but it's becoming a roller coaster ride that I sometimes wish I could get off of. I have never given up on God, and I'm not going to now, but I wish that I could just know that one thing in my life is certain, and is never going to change except for my benefit...talk about wishful thinking. I know life doesn't work that way, and I suppose my idealism only works for so long.

Where does this verse come in? With faith...I only wish it were as easy as the Hebrews verse. To be sure of what we hope for? Isn't that what 8-year-olds do when they want to be baseball players? And what do our parents do? They encourage us for a time. But sooner or later, the reality check comes, and it is really harsh. Why does the reality have to come at all? I don't really understand that, but it seems to be a universal truth.

Certain of what we do not see? Hahah...that's laughable, but it's faith at its best. I can go outside on a beautiful day and see God's paintbrush at work...that's easy. But when I'm at home sitting on my bed or at the computer, I'm struggling greatly to see God's work in my own life. A nice day is a public gift; I can't find my own from God. I thought I had, but things aren't as stable as they once were. It's just difficult...I'm trying.

I'm really trying...really.
- posted by Scott @ 10:39 PM

 
Butting Heads

So yesterday, I had an old family friend IM me and ask me how things were. He asked me whether I had seen "The Passion" yet, and I said no. I simply haven't had two hours of time to devote to anything, let alone a movie. Then we talked about our respective wives and wife-to-be's. And then we got on the topic of religion, especially that of doctrine when it comes to homosexuality...

Now first off, I should know better than to take on a Baptist Minister in a theological discussion (yes, my friend is that). I should also know better than to take on a Fundamentalist, Baptist Minister. Now I will admit that I am not one to lay claim to the belief of the Revealed Word. I think there are too many questions and too many contradictions, that if you believe it as the Revealed Word does bring up (and if you bring context into the argument, you're interpreting, therefore ruining your argument). And we began to argue about whether homosexuality was a sin.

We both agreed that in the Bible, it says it is a sin. I, however, believe that in order for the Church to progress with the times, the doctrine must also move with the times. I also believe that God gave humans the ability to figure out, scientifically and otherwise, how our bodys work, what causes certain traits and recognizable features in people, and how we live in our immediate surroundings as well as the world. For those of you who keep up with the world of Genetics, it has been shown true that genetics play a huge role in determining sexual orientation. It's in the DNA. And if it's there, then it's not a choice humans make, but - if you're like me - a choice that God makes for you when he creates you. So what I want to know is that if it's not a choice that we make, how can we be held accountable for it? I believe in an all-loving, all-caring, grace-for-everyone benevolent God. I have a hard time believing that this God would automatically set up his creations for sin at birth. Original Sin set aside - which is an internal debate in itself with me - I think that God wouldn't automatically choose who starts a rung lower than everyone else. And don't get me started on Calvinism and the "Elect," I don't want to hear it.

And speaking of sin, I believe all sins are equal in the eyes. That means that if you eat pork, or wear polyester, or enjoy cheeseburgers, you are just as bad as a homosexual (if you believe that it is an inarguable sin). But here's the thing. Eating pork or wearing polyester, that's a CHOICE. I believe that sin comes with free will. Free will gives us choices, and the choices we make hold us accountable for the ones that are sins. That's the beauty of free will, it gives us a chance to screw up or do it right. Without it, there would be no sin.

So this brings me back to my point of choice. Homosexuality, as our God-given ability to use science to figure out things about ourselves has told us, is NOT a CHOICE. And because it is NOT a choice, it cannot be viewed as a sin. God creates each and every one of us with a purpose in mind. The choices we make create the possibility of sin. The choices made for us by God are not, because He is Divine and Blameless.

Call me liberal, call me a heretic...I don't care.

Just think about it.
- posted by Scott @ 10:06 PM

 
Happenstance

This title may not apply to this posting, but I like the word a lot, so deal with it.

Anyway, I was supposed to have my entire weekend planned with an Advertising Seminar that was supposed all day today and most of the day tomorrow. Unfortunately, the guy who was supposed to teach the seminar is a Senior Copywriter with Euro RSCG in NYC, and had plane malfunctions this morning, and was never able to leave NYC. This can be looked at in two ways: 1) a bad thing because it was supposed to be a great seminar with great opportunities to make connections at a ton of agencies in NYC; 2) a great thing because I had gotten all my school work done, and therefore now have all the time in the world to do other things this weekend. Also, all of the packets they made for the seminar are now ours, and we get a refund on the fee we paid...so essentially it was free information. This is good.

So what did I do with my newfound time? Not much really. Bought some groceries, played some games (video and board), and hung out with friends. We've begun a sort of Saturday night tradition of having people over for games and dinner and such, and it's really nice. I'm not into the party scene anymore, and I just enjoy having the company of friends now.

I know this is going to be the second posting in a row about nature, but today was just absolutely gorgeous. Sunny, a little breeze, 65 degrees...just simply amazing. I just couldn't help but feeling happy today, and considering the way things have been going for me lately, this day was much needed. I wouldn't say I'm completely revitalized, but this is definitely a start. Tomorrow's supposed to be beautiful, too. It's going to be sweet. Now for a little prayer:

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for all the blessings of this life; my fiancee, my wonderful parents, my awesome and caring friends, all the people of this world, and everything good that goes on in your Name. Thank you most of all for your unending grace and love, without which I would surely suffer.
In your Son's name I pray,
Amen.

"Give thanks to the LORD , for he is good; his love endures forever."
- Psalm 107:1
- posted by Scott @ 12:19 AM